The well-known subject of arguments, whether it’s at work or home. Sometimes it’s best if you just let go, I can’t tell you how many times I found myself just saying never mind or dropping it all together. You feel the frustration and tension build in your body, that’s about the time you want to drop it.
Arguments with children
Sometimes children disagree with you or a course of action and it escalates. Next thing you know, they are getting grounded over a disagreement went too far and it turned into a yelling match. Probably sounds familiar.
Lately, I find myself arguing with my oldest (step) child which is a preteen. She recently found herself trying to talk about politics and how there are genders beyond the basic two. Thanks to the internet, children are believing all sorts of things and arguing everything.
How to avoid them
When you notice things start to escalate put a stop to it. By ending the conversation right there or ensuring conflicting topics are avoided unless it’s completely necessary.
How to work through them
Sometimes you can’t avoid an argument, so the best thing to do is keep your cool. If the other person continues to get more agitated if possible, try to encourage calming down. Explain your issue with the subject and allow the other person to explain their side. Attempting to reach a compromise or agreement can help as well. It’s not always possible to walk away from something calm or happy about the result but, coming to an agreement is helpful to the situation.
How to catch yourself
There are times in an argument where you feel your chest tighten and, your whole body tense from the anger that’s building. One way to prevent an explosion of temper is to hold your breath and not respond. Removing yourself from the conversation and prevent things from getting out of hand.
Keeping a mental notation of what you are saying as well as thinking of the best way to say something is helpful. Sometimes it’s difficult, especially in the heat of the moment. If you can catch yourself to prevent the argument from escalating even further it can help.
Arguments with your spouse
Arguing with your spouse probably occurs more than it does with children. Large and small ones occur, seeing eye to eye on everything doesn’t always happen. There are more things to discuss and work through with your spouse that are more touchy than ones with the kids.
Another one that seems to be common in the household is, financial matters. I guess everyone has financial problems, but let me tell you after four years of a relationship with a veteran and twice divorced our age difference has me at a disadvantage, and we always seem to be having financial problems.
Recently, we moved and it happened to be about when we received our tax return so yes, moving was doable but not pleasant. The original intention was to get caught up on all our debts and that didn’t happen. So with a slightly cheaper rental, living in a duplex where you can hear your neighbors on top of crappy paychecks and unexpected bills you find yourself anxious, as well as frustrated.
Finances are probably the number one reason for breakups and arguments in a relationship. This may or may not be surprising to you, with our level of income on top of old debts our situation is complicated.
The sad part is, the majority of our arguments revolve around where money is going and why things aren’t getting paid when neither of us does anything besides work, eat and sleep.
Stress and anxiety with a side of opposite schedules
Constant stress and anxiety will have almost anyone be argumentative. After a while you just grow exhausted, not to mention sometimes you end up saying something you don’t mean and it could rip apart the relationship.
So, moral of the story… Don’t let an argument continue on and on. If the subject becomes too tense or irritating, drop it and move forward or even come up with an agreement.
Even with children, it may be tempting to get in that last thought with the best of intentions. Sometimes the other person just needs to learn either the hard way or on their own.
Have a time when you realized it was best to just let go?
Let me know in the comments.